If I am asked to sum up my two years' stay in India, I really would not know where to start from .....
My first dilemma would be, why am I placing myself on a dais, where I have to sum up, make an analysis of a stay in my own country, my homeland?, as going to India, for a vacation, every second or third year was a very much awaited holiday for my husband, children and myself. The vacation was a two to three month stay, meeting parents, getting pampered with love and affection, relaxing to the hilt, shopping bagfuls, enjoying sight-seeing of the best tourist-spots ----- a stay that charged us up for another three to four years stay in the USA ---- India felt wonderful. The negatives of the country never got a chance to surf up amidst our waves of fun and relaxation. So when this project for a stay of two years came in the forefront, I don't know why my thoughts started wavering with many "whys", "ifs", "hows" .....many hidden fears suddenly loomed large in imagination.
Now when I am looking back at my two years, I am trying to strike off a balance between the positives and negatives on the basis of comparison between India and USA. My comparison stands its test between India, my origin; and USA, with my stay of thirteen years in the country of glamour, riches and an air all through that it is the country of super powers on world stage.
My life after marriage started in America. Here I first adorned the roles of spouse, housewife, a mother of two, a daughter-in-law, a married daughter, a married sister, a social figure, and some times a small part-time earner. In all these roles, I experienced the weight of responsibilities which go with them. And though very apprehensive in the early months as to how I would manage, I realized in no time, that it was almost a smooth cake-walk to accomplish my responsibilities. New country, new people, new accented tongue, yet it offered everything with ease and sincerity, with a sense of security all through. Soon, I found myself doing all chores with absolute liberty, independence, and, once again I repeat, with a tremendous sense of security and confidence of success in whatever I would attempt ---- every way I felt the truth of USA's motto touch my life ---- "Truth, Freedom, Justice". This was in full bloom in all my thirteen years, so moving to India came as a jolt with fears and doubts as to, whether I would be able to sail smoothly in my own country too as I am doing in the strange foreign land.
Crime and corruption is thick everywhere in the world, so India cannot be pinned down with such accusations, but there was that "something", may be an unknown fear, that kept bothering me as the days of our move approached closer -------- and now after two years of stay I can feel myself very well informed of the pros and cons of our stay in India with children born in USA and my lifestyle set in USA for 13 years. My positive and negative highlights of the stay are many - and it is each ones individual choice what his or her judgement is at the end.
So on landing at Mumbai international airport in the last week of June 2005, my mind was open to accept anything that my country would offer, be it positive or negative. It was the year when Mumbai was hit by a flood that broke all records ... it was chaos of the highest order in the metro then. My husband was stationed in an IT hub near Mumbai, an Indian city with a western hue----a furnished apartment was kept reserved for us where we moved in initially. There was unrelenting rains for weeks, weather was damp and news was full of the havoc of the flood in all the encircling areas. Though we had moved into a furnished apartment, but most of our shipped luggage lay stranded in Mumbai in trucks, during which time many small items got lost from the trucks.
We had to settle down. This was no vacation stay, so everything had to be set up from scratch, yet going for any errand was almost impossible. All roads were closed due to water clogging, taking hours to reach anywhere. Suddenly, I felt myself clipped off, no more those flapping wings by my side. I told myself ---- "hold on, things take time", I clutched on to my patience, but try as much as I could, all my tenacity of patience would just snap off, when I saw my two kids, 8-year old daughter and 5-year old son trying to find their pleasures in the new place, feeling stuffy and hot, sweating away to lethargy, with no fan nor AC working, due to long hours of power-cuts. Scratching away their hands and legs due to mosquito bites which for them was like a deadly attack of bugs, and as is, initially, expected no friends in a new place, no entertaining drives and to top it all both of them would get sudden bouts of fever and tummy-upsets ----- their world for them had turned upside down. We as elders always feel that children are young, they will soon adjust and learn, but it just built up frustration for me, seeing them so awestruck in the new environment. Outings too, were not fun for them in anyway initially in pressing crowds, seeing people so different in ways and mannerisms, some stopping to stare at us in the car, touching the window panes, some begging for food and money, were sights that left them dazed and dumb.
The residential house where we finally moved in, was in a very good locality, with green palm trees encircling the garden --- I just liked it. It was so different from our USA homes, where air-conditioned houses, all air tight, with picturesque landscapes in front does not allow the breeze to come in .. but here, to feel fresh breeze running through the rooms was an exhilarating feeling --- the sun, moon air seemed so close and life felt bathed in freshness --- but that had its drawbacks, as with fresh air swarmed in swarms of mosquitoes and rain bugs and insects which made it impossible to have doors and windows open all the time --- and some evenings went without switching on our lights as some insects had the instinct to throng around electric bulbs and tube lights.
Unlike in USA, we had much domestic help in India --- a driver for our vehicle to take us out as needed, a maid to do the dusting and mopping around the house, a washer-man to wash and iron our clothes, a gardener to tend to the big lawn --- suddenly I felt all my branches of domestic life being managed by others --- a luxury much advertised by all in India, a good incentive for many to move to India itself. I was dubious of the real depth of these luxuries, for every domestic task I was becoming dependent on others, and I knew all this help was by no means omnipresent. Many-a-times, my maid would not turn up without any prior notice, my gardener would be absent for weeks and it can be any fine morning with a day full of agendas, I would suddenly face a situation when my driver would not turn up or the car would be help up by some gas strike. An ongoing irritant was the power cuts for hours on end, which paralyzed every area of work at home --- be it the kitchen appliances like the toaster/microwave/grinder/dishwasher, or the hot water geysers in the washrooms, or the computer/TV that kept me in touch with the world outside, or the air-conditioner in the sweltering heat --- it was a weight on our patience. The fact that unpredictability was a major way of life here in our day to day agendas gradually seeped into our minds.
The vegetable markets were full of those organic vegetables which in USA are coveted in a separate aisle, most costly and rare. Here in India, the marketplace was full of fresh organic vegetables, so organic, so fresh that almost all items were smeared with mud and silt of the soil, or sometimes washed haphazardly in the drain nearby full of gushing muddy rainy water. So getting these vegetables home needed extra washing and it was not rare when a lively earthworm would wriggle out from these fresh green brunches. The grain and cereals that I stocked in my pantry would soon get infested with bugs, sugar would become lumpy, same with the ever-flowing salt - such unexpected trivia's would often hamper my daily work.
Apart from this there those insect that are so much part of our homes in India - lizards, house-flies, scorpions, centipedes. We would have to watch our steps each morning when we got down from our beds. Well, life has its different colors, I would preach myself.
Outside home, the roads were so bumpy and dusty, that going out was no longer a pleasure. My children, not being used to such roads, were nausea tic every morning, when they went to school by bus. So, most of the days then would either throw-up on the way or have to go to school empty-stomach, so much so that the short touring we did to nearby spots got tarnished by the motion sickness of the kids. It took me many doctor visits, and months of accompanying them to school till they got over the ailment; moreover the traffic being most unruly, a drive of 30 minutes would end in an hour's bumpy drive till destination.
Some rare things that I liked getting addicted to, was that I could get my grocery brought to me at my door by a phone-call, not to mention, if of-course the phone line was in order. I could have my clothes washed and ironed brought to my door. I could get a tailor who could repair and alter most of our clothes which we had to give away in charity in USA, the land of plenty. These were rare luxuries of India which we could never dream of in glamorous USA, where labor was not so cheap.
A major reason which motivated me for this move to my home country was that I would get a good opportunity to let my children live through the festivals of this country and hence be much exposed to the varied rich culture of the India; an age old culture of which we are proud of, and which is on of the many reasons why Indian parents outside India want their children to spend some of their growing years in the land of Vedas, Ramayana, Mahabharata and Shravana Kumars.
So in my years I could enrich both my children with the values of the festivals of India, the depth of Rakshabandhan; the spirit of righteousness which pervades through Dusshera and Diwali; what it means to visit elders on such occasions, lessons of humility and respect through the custom of touching feet of elders, and what did blessings mean for such gestures. The significance of meditation, penance and fasting during the days of Navratri and Ganesh pujas, were just steps towards a disciplined and rigid lifestyle - a completely unknown aspect for them in the glittering glamour of the West. Not that these festivals are not celebrated in America, but to live through these occasions at its very origin, gives a completely different meaning to the gravity of each festival, to witness oceans of humanity rejoicing and dancing on the roads with idols of gods leaves a deep impact in the budding minds of children - what is the true meaning of "unity in diversity" they learn here.
Staying in USA they know only "plenty and plenty" of everything - that a part of the world is thriving with children of their age deprived of the bliss of childhood, children growing up in USA will never know. My children saw what poverty, hunger and deprivation meant, they learnt how to give away a morsel from your mouth to a hungry child at your door, and they learnt the value of gratitude to the Almighty for having bestowed on them a life away from such curses.
The good things that kept me sailing were that I had my extended family in the same country. That I would reach out to my parents when they needed me - this sense of proximity gave a very satisfying feeling, which helped me overlook many of the negatives that hovered all around me in my parents, and I was happy that I could be of help to them, specially my aged grandmother who had no one other than her daughter and we grand kids. I could bring my grandmother to my house and stay with me, a thing that would never have been possible for me if I were in USA. I could take care of her, and tend to her age-related problems, let my children get a glimpse of the patience and love required when dealing with age. I could tend to all her needs to my full satisfaction till her last dying moments - a God sent privilege for me, for which I can overlook all the hardships that I had been going through during my stay in India. This stay in India brought me closer to my roots.
Summing up, I can say that staying for two years in India added many colors to my life and my family. I tried to make the most of my stay - two years were strewn with good and bad, many happy moments to go down memory lane, and many soul-touching experiences dotted the days of the stay, the memory of which shall stay with me till eternity, yet despite all the pros and cons, I will admit that I am happy to be back in USA, but I miss India often in my day to day life in this country of ease and plenty. My love for my country stands strong, and I would continue to place India frequently on our vacation list --- a vacation that I shall look forward to with love and longing ----- as all the glitters of Americas, Europe and the like, stand nowhere when it comes to my love for the soil of my origin ------- India.
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